Dear honey….

(In case you’re wondering, I’m a huge fan of James Thurber. Go read some and laugh yourself silly).

Dear Honey,

I’m sorry there will be no dinner tonight. My cooking hand is out of action.

You know, I didn’t object when you said, let’s redo the front. Nor did I object when it was this weekend. I didn’t even object to working out there all day Saturday and Sunday until 8pm at night, 3 nights in a row (Monday after dinner too).

I didn’t complain when you said I hadn’t bought enough/the right irrigation parts. I don’t mind fixing the irrigation, I thought it was a kind a fun job.

However, as the scrape on the back of my hand festers, and the side of my face where I got whacked with a piece of pipe that came loose suddenly, throbs, I have had ENOUGH.

I didn’t object to going to the hardware store at 8.30 this morning for more clips. I did NOT complain when I realised that I had forgotten about one corner that had to be dug up and changed from a sprinkler elbow to a closed elbow. I just did it. BY MYSELF.

I didn’t object that I had to dig along the whole front kerb trying to find the t-pieces that you had left to be buried.

But when I finally discover TWO OF THEM, full of mud (because the only way to find one of them was to turn the hose on and actually LET the water come out), and BROKEN because you had hit them with the lawnmower AGAIN and cracked the t-pieces…. ok, now I object.

I spent 10 minutes trying to get one of them out, because it had snapped neatly off inside the pipe. The only way to salvage it was to dig further, in the mud, with my hands, cut the piece off. Spend 5 minutes wiggling on a connector, then a new piece of pipe and only THEN could I get to the actual putting a new elbow on, and connecting the sprinkler.

PEOPLE OF AUSTRALIA help me!!

If you see this man going anywhere near a lawnmower, arrest him. He’s a menace to irrigation systems everywhere. I’d rather mow the lawn myself, than dig up all these pipes one more time.

ENOUGH is ENOUGH.

And after you’ve finished making us all dinner, the sprinkler in the far corner needs to be totally dug up, before repairs can commence. I haven’t even GOT as far as the ones in the middle.

And now I’m going to go and rest my hand in a bowl of dettol…. it’s getting swollen.

Love
Cassie

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