I am SO tired… seriously. Tired. There are other words to describe it, but just plain tired works for me.
So, the new job is going very well. I am HAPPY there, which is saying a lot for me. I haven’t been HAPPY for longer than someone’s holiday time at work for a very long time. Always flinching. Always looking over my shoulder, second guessing. Always aiming for perfection because it’s a protection to me. Not that I am now NOT aiming for perfection, but I am happier with pretty darn close.
However, we have hit a slight snag as far as the hours go. I used to think that a huge fortnight at my old work was anything close to or around 50 hours. I didn’t do a 50 hr fortnight very often, and even rarer were 2 in a row. As it turns out, I am going to be doing 50+ fortnights EVERY fortnight for the foreseeable future. I won’t have to work Saturday or Sunday for the most part, but the only other day I have off is Wednesday, and there’s a lot of family stuff to get through.
I know that many other working mothers do this, and they do full-time weeks. I don’t know how they do it. I leave most days when I drop the kids off to school, I get home at about 6.30 on average. There’s dinner to prepare, 2 or 3 loads of washing to do a couple of nights a week. Washing to fold and iron and put away. Notes from school to read and digest. I have even had to bring some work home with me the last couple of weeks, things are that out of control. Most nights I fall into bed about 10.30, 11pm and that is all
*skip* has picked up the slack in an amazing way, really. He’s learnt to cook, he always cleans the kitchen etc for me, will fold washing or iron. All the little things. But still, as all mothers do, I feel the burden is mine to bear.
Not that I’m complaining. Just thought I’d mention it. I will find balance, and get some more energy soon. I hope. Or die trying.
I had so much more I wanted to say, but I really am just too tired. I’ll try to catch up later on…